Well you could say that after seeing everyone elses presentations that it lit a fire underneath my arse and got me going, that is partially true because it was I who lit the beacons that lit the inferno underneath my arse. But anyway here go, hope you enjoy:
No I haven't trolled you either its all there. Well sorta kinda the first chapters there but well theres extras underneath it.
- Chapter 1 (or C1)
A few things before you rain hell on me:
- I know about the swearing/ cussing and if its thats big of problem it will be removed but in my defence look at the age rating and fact is you know if you've read the character bios enough that the influence for this main character has come from Rorschach and partially parts of my own self combined with other character traits. As well if you read the character boi's you would know how old the character is and the job he's in so I think I did right by him having him swearing on occasion.
I havent had the rest of the chapter read by an external person either, so far I've only had the first paragraph looked at and I do intend to have it looked at in the future.
By the end of the first week of the holidays I had this first chapter done and by this time as well I had a plan written up in my head at least, it was to get 1 chapter done per week. Because it seems we have 5 - 6 weeks left on the course, 5 chapters = 5 weeks. What I didnt account for was well, me. By the end of the second week of the holidays (so currently now) I was well into and near the end of my third chapter. There's been a few days where I've had my work on the bottom on my tab bar just staring at me saying "I'm here you know!" and me just there procrastinating or generally just either forgetting about it or ignoring it. I think it was the second sunday of the holidays I sat down with a cup of tea and just wrote straight for a few hours, I wish I had more days like those.
- Where I'm up to now...
- I think I removed the swearing from C1 onwards because my tutor said to me in just that first paragraph there was too much swearing
- Again it hasn't been checked for spelling or grammar or if it at all makes sense for all I know it might be jibberish and nonesense, so sorry in advance if it is.
I think the line in the middle of the second chapter is my favourite so far because it has been one of those lines thats been running on repeat through my head ever since I finished the design stage. The line I'm on about is the only line that is written in whole thing in CAPS and really that whole paragraph I like the most at the minute. I just knew I had to implement it in there somehow and so I did.
I posted this very document above to my own personal Facebook a week ago before posting it to here and asked people for feedback there, I had one piece of feedback. She said:
- Needs more detail
- Less swearing, "it makes it looks like you are trying too hard"
- The swearing needs basis to fit but if I (Todd) think it fits then fair enough
I think the only reason I've done so well is because I've been concentrating on the FMP solely in itself for a whole 2 weeks, sorry to any of my tutors but not touching any other work what so ever just my FMP.
Let me put into perspective for you: Imagine you as me can't juggle so save his life is trying to juggle 3 balls at once keeping them all up in the air throwing them up and recatching them as they fall over and over again. Until now these two weeks I've had one ball to throw up and catch and because it is just one ball I can concetrate and and I can juggle that one ball quite well its only when you add 2 more balls to the mix is when I struggle. I hope you get my metaphor, I like to confuse my reader most of the time. I prefer the Lost type of writing as well as the Once Upon a Time way of writing, I love the way the most little of things means something and the use of intertextual references in the two shows is very good or at least I've been told is very good. (To be honest I haven't seen Lost but I am an avid Once Upon a Time fan.)
Let me put into perspective for you: Imagine you as me can't juggle so save his life is trying to juggle 3 balls at once keeping them all up in the air throwing them up and recatching them as they fall over and over again. Until now these two weeks I've had one ball to throw up and catch and because it is just one ball I can concetrate and and I can juggle that one ball quite well its only when you add 2 more balls to the mix is when I struggle. I hope you get my metaphor, I like to confuse my reader most of the time. I prefer the Lost type of writing as well as the Once Upon a Time way of writing, I love the way the most little of things means something and the use of intertextual references in the two shows is very good or at least I've been told is very good. (To be honest I haven't seen Lost but I am an avid Once Upon a Time fan.)
If I had to be honest the past two weeks I've had to re-discover why 'I want to do' what I want to do, I've been reading many the article about the subject of narraitve design. It has been mostly self doubt and me thikning my project in its whole is worthless compared to any other class mate of mine and their project. Again self doubt in my skill, I sometimes think my tutor thinks my project is worthless. I know these thoughts should stay in my own mind but it effects my own work becasue everytime I'd look at my work I'd think 'why am I even doing this?' so thats what I went to re-discover and I re-discovered my inspiration. But anyway enough of this depressing stuff. I hope you enjoy the above two documents, feedback would be very much aprreciated were possible.
Todd.
